After months, very long and torturous months of going through Life's wrath, I finally seem to have brought it all down to something I had thought of a week ago but had dismissed as well. Suddenly it seems to have hit me all over again after a friend said the exact same words that had been haunting my head. It figures why Life's been so crappy in the recent past.
It's been just about 3 months and in such a short span of time, I've lost an unimaginable amount of things and people close to my heart. If it had been just that one thing, this would probably have been an easier time to deal with. Well, like they say, when a bad time comes, it comes like a freakin' tsunami! And tsunami it is! Came, wrecked half the things that had taken years to build, and went away without even the slightest ounce of remorse. That wave of "bad time" has probably just begun. And no, that's not a pessimistic way of thinking. I see it as preparing myself for worse.. - that's realistic. But optimistic would be saying- that nothing can get worse than this (Im pretty sure that's spot on!), and hence, the only way out of this hole, is up.
In an unexpected turn of events, the last 38minutes have been very odd. They've been the almost extinct moments of "being alone and yet being happy". Very rare in these times of war. War. With the world, with others, with people who have wronged me, and at some point in time, with myself. Another very strange thing is, when you're lower than ever, even reading a certain name, or hearing from a certain person can just drive out all that crummy-ness and spread a smile across your face instantly! Something as simple as reading the name of a person who's email was waiting in my Inbox, worked magic! I guess these bad times really do teach you who's gona stick with you right through and who's going to walk out on you . Knowing and believing that these people are indeed here to stay, goes a very long way in helping one deal with tough situations, especially the kinds that require massive emotional and mental stability. At a time when even the minor-est of things can get you totally bogged down, having these fellows to depend on, somehow neutralizes the effect of the circumstances.
Everyday Im reminded of how important certain people can be in your life, because everyday when I need to get up and move on, I know that these 2-3 people are going to provide that much needed support.
Thats all I have energy to write as of now...
Thank you Chhotu. :) <3> You're a constant and omnipresent flicker of faith.