Apoorva Joshi

PhD student - Michigan State University; Independent journalist - environment, science and international news.

Fellow - International League of Conservation Writers.

Member - Society of Environmental Journalists, International Communication Association.

Wonder of wonders

Sometimes I wonder whether I really am related to Mowgli. For the most part that Ive lived in a city, Ive always felt so much strong dislike toward it. For the last many months, Ive been wondering whether I really am some kid who was raised in the wild and has thus developed a strong dislike of humans. But as much as I would love to believe that, it's not true. I was most definitely raised by humans. Sadly.

Sometimes I wonder whether the things I consider precious memories and important developments in life are ever important events and memories to someone else as well? So many times these memories, and these feelings aren't limited to just one person. So many times it's not just about me. There are other people involved in these small but significant eventful memories. So I wonder, whether any of those people ever think of them the way I do, or whether these rungs of the ladder of memories, hold the same precious position in the hearts/minds/lives if the other people related to/with them as do with me.

Sometimes I wonder whether friends are there so that by the time your life is nearing its end, you dont have to think of whether you lived a life worth all the pain you had to go through. I think friends exist because when this moment comes, and you're eventually looking back at how you spent the last xyz amount of time, inadvertently, you end up realizing that if you didnt have those friends is your life, you would not have have been smiling while going down memory lane on your last day.

Sometimes I wonder, why I make such strong distinctions between acquaintances and friends. Then I realize that if I didnt make these differences, and if I didnt follow them, I wouldn't know whom to value when I am in that "memory lane" situation. If I didnt choose for myself, those who would one day mean everything to me, then I would rather not walk down memory lane because I would probably not have those memories to look back at without friends.

Sometimes I wonder how is it that I am more attached emotionally and mentally to those wild habitats, and their wild inhabitants, than I am to my family, or to other human beings. This one I wonder about a lot. Why do I love animals and the wilderness more than anyone or anything? And everytime I wonder about this one, I end up putting a "to be continued.." sign in my head. I can just never find the answer to this question. The closest possible explanation would be that all the while when I was growing up, my experiences with human beings were so terrible that I subconsciously blacklisted the species forever. I spent so much time with animals, that eventually, I knew who my friends were.

Sometimes I wonder how some people just have the capability to walk into your life without any sort of warning, and sweep your right off your own two feet! And I'm very glad that this doesn't happen very often. Being swept off and landing with a thud isn't all that great. But strangely, as much I still think that mankind is the most atrocious species, in a negative sort of way, these "sweepers" always make me effortlessly love them for who they are. Those few absolutely cartoons who have managed to walk into my life and land themselves all those special places, are one of their individual kind, because without them, I'd just be one very very lost human being.

Sometimes I wonder whether Im the only one who wonders so much!! But then , I can confidently say, that I have reason to believe that each and every "Sweeper" in my life is entirely and equally weird. Deep down inside, I know the answer. And the feeling of knowing that once created, these fond memories, always stick with you, is an absolute divine feeling!

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