Apoorva Joshi

PhD candidate - Information and Media; Environmental Science and Policy @Michigan State University

Independent journalist -

Environment, Science, International


Sometimes things really confuse me, sometimes, they amuse me, but more often these days, they surprise me. It surprises me how people think about certain topics and issues. Maybe its the old school of thought and stuff. but considering this is the 21st century, thoughts really ought to be in connection to the times we're in. Especially my field. Since i obviously cannot talk of anyone else's field.
Wildlife. Oh wow! Such a different field! How nice! So what are your career prospects? These are the same bunch of folks who'd once told me, "tera kuch nahi hone wala". You will never be able to do anything in this field. And this, from people who became doctors and engineers only coz they had no ambition in life. Sheeesh! I cant help it if I knew what I wanted to do right since the beginning of being able to think for myself. My father asked me today "Why dont u join Politics?" My answer was a frank ,"Because Ive better things to do in my life." And then he said, Politicians are the sweepers of society, they clean everything up..etc.etc.. I openened my mouth to say something, but then realized, Im just not going to be allowed to speak, IM not going to be heard and understood, Im going to be blidly woven off as the "little child who knows nothing". So I decided, to keep shut about it. I dont know why it's so hard for older people to accept that their kids, or kids for that matter, can have their own view points which they might really want to express and they may even be logical. Sadly, this is again one example of lack of communication. When your friends hear you out, and so do a lot of people you've only just known to exist, but your family doesnt, it kind of gets to me. Over the years, Ive drifted further and further away from them. When they want to be heard, its all got to be loud n clear. But when it's me, coz Im the youngest in the family, it all has to be "hurry up, ive got work to do". So you know what, you go do your work, Its obviously more important than listening to your own child! And then how can they even claim that they "know" me. As sad as it is, (I honestly cannot find a more apt word), my family is the bunch of people who really does NOT know me. They have hardly even seen more than 20% of me. It's probably Mom who has a slight idea at least.
So yeah, getting back to the main thing, I always wonder why people think the way they do. Maybe its the way they were brought up, what and where they studied, also who they studied with, because people around you, tend to affect you too. And then, their families, friends, work places, and obviously, personal experiences had. All of this amounts to the making and moulding of a person I guess. But then why do so many people, brought up in different atmospheres, educated in entirely contrasting places and conditions, think so alike sometimes? Why are there only some people we can relate to and associate with, without hesitating to be ourselves? Why do we wear masks around others? Why are people so confusing? And this is exactly why I prefer to not talk to certain people, not waste my time and energy in trying to explain to them what I know they arent going to listen carefully to- because they baffle me. They're all intelligent people, educated in good schools, brought up well. They are not bad people at all. They're good at heart. But even then, why dont they understand things that are so simple otherwise? Why does everyone want to complicate things? Why do people want the satisfaction and pride of being able to handle and understand complicated and complex things? When understanding simple stuff itself is proving to be such a challenge worldwide! Very strange really..
But I guess over time, this whole confusion will fade, and things will seem more practical. Or maybe these people will realize that they've just not been thinking for all this while.
There are those people who think "Oh she's in a different field, Must have had it really easy if she's still in it, otherwise she would have been fallen flat" Sheesh! Did you ever think, maybe she didnt have it easy? Maybe she had to work her ass off to get where she is, and to stand tall and be proud to say that I really AM doing something good, unlike the hypocrites who build skyscrapers and use glass panel exteriors, those people who use the A/C in the winters, and stilll leave the door open, those people who leave lights on only coz they're rolling in money anyway. Maybe what I had to go through at my age, is far tougher than what any of these guys had to do to get where they are, coz "baap ki daulat" is their thumb rule. Mine is simply "khud ki izzat". I did not have anyone I knew in this field when I entered it. I didnt have any financial backing and I still dont. I never knew how to teach kids. I had to learn a lot of "to-go" things to be able to set myself right. My father isnt a bigshot with money stashed under the floormat. My only thought is, that if you cant accept that a 19yr old from a middle class family has done the things she has without any help from anyone whatsoever, then you just need to bloody start using that rusty brain. And I dont want appreciation. I dont want people going all praises. Its utter crap. You understand my work, and show some interest, I'll be ever nice to you. But you act like a moose and give me your "Im greater than you" air, then I'll have you up your own!
People... are basically just very weird!! Some frsutrating, some adorable, some very understanding and true, some with you since you've been nothing, right till the end, through all your major break-throughs, some who will come when the weather's good, some who will want to bask in your glory, some who just simply dont give a damn, some who are genuine, some pesky, and others just too many.. But Im glad, that even in this frightful world of people, I have had the luck of having with me, the BEST of the gems! Each and everyone is special in their own way. As a friend, mentor, companion, partner, each and everything. Im proud to say that everyone in my closed and close circle of people is a true gem! And I treasure each one of them for not being the kickass types! :) Thanks guys for always having been there..and stood strong with me whenever Ive needed you!

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