Apoorva Joshi

PhD student - Information and Media; Environmental Science and Policy @Michigan State University

Independent journalist -

Environment, Science, International

India - shaken, AND stirred

I'd made up my mind- I will NOT write about this incident. I will not write or say anything about what I feel about it to anyone, on any blog, site, or community thread. And I lived up to it. Till just this morning. When, once again, the Times of India was covered with bold headlines and that heart wrenching information. I still don't want to write because I dont know why I should. There's so much being written about this that as it is, people have an overload. And not that I dont want to write! I definitely do! But it's just that I dont think people will want to read my blog and what I have to say, because Im a nobody. Face it. Im not a star or a politician that people will come listen to what Im saying. And its not like Im an expert at this stuff so they should all pay attention to what Im going to have to say, BUT, I get the satisfaction that maybe some day, someone will stumble upon this blog and go back feeling responsible. Im choosing my words very carefully at this point- NO im not scared of how I sound. Im scared that a word maybe less impactful than another one. I want to make a big impact here. That's the point. And with the hope that someday I will, Im going to write at least part of what I feel.
I dont remember the exact time when the first waves of the Mumbai terror attack struck. I dont know where they first happened. What i DO know is, Ive taken whatever happened, very personally. And give me ONE reason why I shouldn't! It's my country! Whether it is my hometown that blew apart or not, it IS my native people who were ripped. And ANY country facing something like this, should make it a point to take the strongest and hardest measures.
When someone I know tells me his house vibrated because some jackass blasted a bomb near by, I wake up, put on the TV, and what I see, shocks me. There are no tears. No blood is coming out of me. But Im just as exasperated as some other citizen of my country would be. Im not the one who's been shot, Im not the one who's lost a close person (phew!!), Im not the one with the bullet proof vest and a gun storming into a building to take on the cause of this chaos. A sense of respect, frustration, anger, MASSIVE anger, sorrow, and then disrespect fills me, in that order.
One thing I'm glad about is, that finally, India accepted that no matter how many attempts you make to reconcile with someone, things dont work out, if the other party is only pretending, but not taking some action. Unfortunately, Pakistan really IS playing a part in this. And no, im not advocating a war of words or something. But what's so awfully VISIBLE, cannot and should not be denied. And NO im not anti-Muslim. I have wonderful friends who are Muslims, and tomorrow if anyone accuses them of being terrorists, I'll murder that person. And then I will be the terrorist. I cannot have people just randomly accusing my friends only because they're of a particular religion. And honestly, you think that among the people who died in the WAR on Mumbai and India in the last 3 days, no one was a Muslim? So please, stop being racist or whatever the word is, just bloody open your eyes. It's high time that someone takes a step and boldly addresses problems we HAVE. India's Muslims are VERY much our own!! Pakistan however, is nothing close!
We really don't need people creating more problems right now than there already are! I mean our Politicians. I think, you know, Politician should be declared a different religion. Because somehow, they're the blind asses that DON'T see what's happening to OUR country. When Narendra Modi hops into the scene of drastic security, and announces a "compensation" of 1 crore to xyz, it's kinda distracting! I told you, Politician. The people with NO hearts, little sense, and hardly any common sense! What's happening there, and what's he saying, no idea! It's a freaking terror attack. get OUT of there and stop harping about how sad and hurt you are. let the defences do their job and keep SHUT! but no! He think money would sooth the victims' families. Because obviously, they died coz they wanted to see their folks drowning in currency notes na? Jeeez, i mean come ON! What kind of jerk sits and starts a politics game right in a middle of this!?
And that word they keep using -"resilience". WHAT?? You EXPECT Mumbai and India to be resilient about terrorist attacks and not say anything and "bounce back" like they "always have"?? Get the point mate- we've always ignored and moved on, but how much more?! How much more do you want this country to endure? Its being blasted from North to South and West to East along its extent! And you WANT resilience?? Are you BLIND? Or downright crazy??
You should be saying, "This time on, no resilience, dont just take it in and move on, STAND up to it and FIGHT!". Dude, this is a WAR! That those
cowardly bastards have started against us. You want to look like a wimp and sit and bounce back, sure, go ahead. We're not with ya mate. We're going to see this END and we're going to fight it off. No blind moron is ever going to enter this country with intentions of cracking it. It's not a cardboard box. Its a COUNTRY with people in it! And those people that are not politicians, have hearts!
Foreigners are dying, our people are dying, security folk are dying, and you're standing and offering money!!??!! Will it take losing a loved one in this sort of thing for you to give up on madness and join the sense brigade? How much more!? How many more deaths? This isn't a natural calamity. It's a planned destruction! A planned murder! Of our country and that spirit! Which , im sorry, will NOT be resilient any more! So you can go back to your A/c office and NOT do anything about it, as usual, while you see your people die on TV on your flat screen plasmas, and we will take up charge. By the time you get up for lunch, or lunch is brought to you, your cook will have been shot. But that's ok, you;ll hire another one right? Can't you people just SEE the AMOUNT of damage this has done to us for so many years and now this!
The flaws in the Government are gaping holes. And no amount of concrete coverage will cover them. They're a cavity. And no matter how many times you fill it in, it's going to erode again. Because your covering material is wrong. Your attitude is wrong. YOU are wrong!
In complete self awareness, I would like to state, that I did register to be able to vote, but you know what, here's my decision, Im going to vote for - NOBODY. Till the time this country gets someone sensible, till the time I can trust someone here, I WILL NOT VOTE. Because, I dont want to feel guilty that I elected someone who failed my country again! And comments on what people feel about me not voting are downright unwelcome coz it's no one else's business.
You have NO idea about how to deal with your people, you think money solves death for cryin out loud! So learn, and then earn (votes).
As for the rest of what I feel (oh yeah there's MUCH more), - that will not be coming up here as of now at least. Its too personal to go up for the world to read.
- The End - (or maybe just starting from scratch)

Powered by Squarespace. Background image by Apoorva Joshi